The term ‘kids’ often mislead parents and their offspring into thinking that ‘raising’ them exceeds beyond the time they’re already supposed to be earning their own money. Although it’s natural for parents to think that they need to provide for their children’s needs, there should be a limit to this dynamic—especially when said children are already adults who are more than capable of feeding themselves.
It might be easy to understand where your child is coming from—it’s a tough economy, after all, but instead of initializing them, ask yourself the following questions: What is stopping him or her from going out there and getting a job? Why isn’t he or she working hard to be financially independent from you? Why do they have this innate fear of failure? Or have they been so used to your treatment towards them? Are you willing to be their safety net for the rest of their lives and yours?
Below are a few things to keep your helping in check, because your love and care might be doing them more harm than good.
• Be their landlord. If they’re really having a hard time finding a job or finding a new place to stay, then tell them that you will eventually be asking for rent, etc. If they can’t seem to pay up, then let them pay through doing their laundry, cleaning, and doing other chores around the house. The point is: you shouldn’t let them live under your roof in exchange for nothing!
• Set the rules and stick to them. Wait a day or two before setting down the law one more time. Your house, your rules. They might consider this tough love, but trust me—they need this more than ever. Consider their time in your place a kind of financial boot camp to help them get back on their feet.
• Don’t hand over blank checks. If your kids have literally no cent to their name, and they have to rely on you for everything, understand that there are countless ways to support your kid without handing them your hard-earned money for free. How about a new home? An insurance plan? How about providing furniture for their own apartment? This is worse if they’re living with you because they will eventually feel at home, feel like they’re in their comfort zone, and they won’t ever want to leave. Soon enough, they’ll be spending your money for luxurious things (video games, new gadgets, a stronger Internet connection, etc.) they can live without. Be wary and don’t feed into this seemingly safe addiction. If you let them depend on you for everything, you are only enabling their bad habits, and you might not notice it at first, but their constant need to get money from you will eventually handicap you financially.
• Stop enabling them! By this time, it’s okay to be a little selfish and make you and your spouse a priority first. When your kids have finished college and are already earning money, all you have to worry about is your retirement and rest assured you’ve got your finances in check. They might list so many reasons as to why life is unfair, but you can let them have a pity party forever. They have to learn how to deal and stand on their own two feet! Do you really want to spend your entire life taking care of your overgrown kids?
Help your kids help themselves! Spoon-feeding them won’t do them any good when you’re gone. It’s time to let your offspring grow-up financially this time around.
When is it okay to help?
When they’ve truly hit a rough patch in their lives—say, if your son or daughter faced a life-changing circumstance such as a sudden loss of a job, or he or she has been evicted out of their apartment, by all means, help them out. It’s normal that you’re the number one person that they run to when they’ve hit a low point in their lives. They’re lucky if you’re financially stable by then to lend a hand. It’s the length of help that you should keep an eye on. All you have to remember is that when you extend a ‘hand’, don’t let them take your whole arm.
How about your debt?
Whether or not you’re dealing with overly grown kids, it’s still a must that you take care of your own finances, and most of all – that a crippling debt is the least of your problems. If a debt clouds your future of financial stability, debt settlement might be your number one solution for debt relief, and there’s no better company than Financial Rescue LLC. We’ll give you the chance to pay off your debt for a lower amount, and that’s something you definitely wouldn’t want to miss. You can also suggest this debt relief option to your kid for his or her own finances!